there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
