so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
