remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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