I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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