Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
so much tequila, so little girl.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
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