she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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