I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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