My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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