i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Sex in the backyard? Check.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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