At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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