who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
