john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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