bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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