The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
