Ambien. No doubt about it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
