I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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