drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
