He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
