cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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