I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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