I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
