i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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