It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
