sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dicks are not precious.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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