I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wish my penis had a tongue
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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