Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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