I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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