If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize