It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
