4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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