Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
