Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
