Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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