I'm pants shitting drunk right now
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Your cock deserves a montage
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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