Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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