i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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