I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
