I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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