giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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