I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize
