Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
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