If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
