i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It's official drugs can't kill me
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
