woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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