They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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