Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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