Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize