I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Randomize
