no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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