Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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