from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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