the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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