Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
