whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
this will be a night to untag.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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