people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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