Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
