I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
