Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
