so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
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