we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
