Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
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