So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
