I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
